


The Shirt

by CJSpooks



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: LiveJournal, M/M, tgs, topgearslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-28 19:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJSpooks/pseuds/CJSpooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I saw a commercial for this type of shirt a few months ago. This fic happened because of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shirt

It was their first rehearsal after the series break and James could not stop looking at Jeremy. Richard even elbowed him at one point because apparently he was doing it so intently that it was ‘borderline creepy’ and if he did it any harder he would 'burn Jeremy another arsehole, this time at the front.’

Even with these comments, James couldn’t help it. There was something about Jeremy this time around that he couldn’t put his finger on.

Later in the day as Jeremy paced back and forth speaking—more like whining—to someone on his mobile, James went over to Richard, who was munching on some crisps. “Hammond, have you noticed something different about Jez?”

The shorter man shrugged, “He’s more smug than normal.”

“Yes that, but he’s also…”

“Being a big girl’s blouse?”

“Hammond, will you look at him?”

“You’ve done enough looking at him for the two of us. Is there something you want to tell me?” Richard smirked.

“I’ve just been trying to figure out something. I think I’ve got it. The man is now fit.”

“Definitely trim…trim for Jeremy, that is. The infamous gut is half gone! You don’t think—“

“Surgery? I don’t think so.”

“And he can’t have done exercise. He can’t.”

“The word is not in his vocabulary. So what is it, then?”

“Magic. Evil magic we’re not meant to understand.”

“I’d like to find out what he did…And I think I have a way,” he said, his eyes following Jeremy’s movements again.

Richard put up a hand. “When you have that look in your eye, I don’t even want to know, mate. Have fun.”

Fun was exactly what James was hoping to have in finding out Jeremy’s secret. The first part of the plan involved asking the man to the pub.

*

“You look like you need more. I’ll get the next round. Order us some more chips.”

“You’re buying? Are you trying to off me or have I died and gone to heaven?”

“Just enjoy it while it lasts.”

“You’re a good chap there, May!”

Surround Jeremy with as much alcohol and chips as possible: check.

*

“There are…um, three of you in front of me right now. No, make that four. They all look like an arse. So many stripes on all your jumpers!” Jeremy laughed and grabbed onto James as he stumbled.

“Considering your present condition, you need to come back to mine tonight.”

The older man shook his head. “I can call a—“

“I still have some good poncy wine from my travels.”

“Keep calm and carry on, Slow,” Jeremy said, bursting into a fit of giggles.

Get him to stay over: check.

*

James handed him a glass.

Jeremy sniffed it. “Have you poisoned it?”

“Stop asking me that. And no.”

He sipped the wine and sighed, leaning back onto the couch. “You don’t have to get me drunk to have me over, you big spaniel.”

“I know. I got you drunk so you’ll stay over.”

“Stay? For what?”

The corners of James’ mouth curled at Jeremy’s unreadable expression.

Give him more booze at the house: check.

*

He had waited long enough. The second part of the plan could begin. He pounced. Jeremy made an agreeable noise as James’ tongue entered his mouth.

Still lip-locked with Jeremy, he fumbled with the buttons of the older man’s shirt. Meanwhile, Jeremy’s hands began to wander over the younger man’s denim-covered arse. Giving up on the buttons, James reached a hand under Jeremy’s shirt to feel his skin and realized what the man was hiding. He pulled back suddenly. “God above, it’s another shirt!”

“Yes, James, it’s a specialized shirt for men like me who would like the flattering shape of a fit homosexualist without doing exercise.”

“You bought a men’s body shaping shirt?”

“I bought three: white, black, and grey! Surprisingly comfortable, I might add. It breathes.”

“Where did you get it?”

“They sell it in America. On the telly, no less.”

“And you bought it because—“

“To tell you the truth, to impress you.”

“Me?”

“You’re the really curious type, May. I knew you’d find out…somehow. And I have to confess, after all that in the pub, I’m not really that drunk.”

“You…”

“Genius is the word you’re looking for.”

“Manipulative bastard.”

“You love it, though. Kiss me.”

Chuckling, James did.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to topgearslash on LJ on Feb 12, 2011.


End file.
